The Pox / I Don't Have Kids, by Q-Tina and the Insiders

The Pox / I Don't Have Kids

by Q-Tina and the Insiders

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1.	The Pox 01:28	lyrics	buy track
I got the pox I got the pox Even though I’m locked inside my little box I got pox I got pox I have to talk to everyone through the letterbox All I’ve left to eat is peanut butter and jam My face looks like a spanked ham I got the pox I got the pox Stay the fuck away from me, you cocks I lost me job What a knob Now all I got left is a coupla bob I’m signing on What a con New York State, where’s my fucking money? I can’t even go outside I needed a meal so I swallowed my pride I miss working at the record shop And my public misses their dose of pop The pox We got the pox This is fucking bollocks We got the pox We got the pox We’re running out of food and fucking clean socks The pox We got the pox We’re the three bears and you’re Goldilocks We got the pox We got the pox Put some fucking money through our letterbox We got the pox We got the pox We’re gonna run out of beer, you Kants
2.	I Don't Have Kids 02:26	lyrics	buy track
Woke up this morning at 11am The sound of silence is my kind of mayhem Life is magnifique Without the pitter patter of tiny feet Relaxing on the couch with a lager and lime Watching Frozen 2 for the 68th time But that's cuz I want to And I don't have any explaining to do To the kids I don't have kids Never hear the sound of a child's laughter Don't need the product of a morning after I'll keep my bucks and quids 'Cuz I don't have kids Don’t have to make friends with other mums or dads I can still have fun with the lasses and lads Never have to watch what I say Get drunk as balls on some random Tuesday Never have to pick anyone up from school I can pour my energies into looking ice cool That’s the way it’s always gonna be For my next birthday I want a hysterectomy No kids I don’t need kids I don’t care if the kids are all dumb ‘Cuz I'm not a dad, and I'll never be a mum With kids (Yeah, junior, fuck off) I don’t need a legacy The family line is gonna die with me Forgive me, dad, I’m sorry, mum That you had to give birth to such a childless bum You had kids Aren’t you glad you had kids? Now you can brag to everyone That only your kid writes songs as good as this one I kid I’m a wonderful kid K-k-k-kids, K-k-k-kids I don’t have kids

about

Hastily formed during this pox-ridden year of 2020, Q-Tina and the Insiders just might be the world’s first ‘quarantine punk’ band. Or if not the first, then very definitely the best.
Dual frontpeople Vex and Pox met in NYC’s last porn theater, Cinema King’s Highway, whilst Pox was taking a break from his hen party stripper gig in his native London, and the two hit it off instantaneously.
Vex had recently become disillusioned with her own racket, teaching punk songwriting classes to the under 5’s, and her exasperation at the kids’ lack of dedication to their craft was the direct inspiration for what was to become the Insiders’ instant classic, ‘I Don’t Have Kids’.
With their first song practically written for them, the diuretic duo decided to form a band, but after teaming up with drummer and local news anchor, Spol, disaster struck.
A mysterious virus suddenly gripped the world, forcing it do nothing that didn’t involve staying at home like a hermetic old twonk.
Pox, now unable to return home even if he’d wanted to, and despite only leaving the house once a week wrapped in an entire roll of cling wrap, contracted the virus, and song no. 2 was born - the blistering howl of delirious anger entitled ‘The Pox’.
The Insiders’ earth-shattering debut was recorded remotely amidst a turbid sea of sweat, snot and fever dreams over the course of three days, and probably should have taken far less time than that.
Either way, you can’t argue with raw talent, and if even if you try, it will shout you down like Rudy Giuliani to a ferret owner.
So turn up your crappy iPod speakers and prepare to pogo around your pokey flat, apartment or bedsit to the molten strains of Q-Tina and the Insiders, before collapsing in a fever-riddled heap in front of your disappointed cats.
Get The Pox. The good kind. Now.

credits

released April 12, 2020

Pox: vocals, guitar
Vex: vocals, bass, synth
Spol: drums

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about

Q-Tina and the Insiders New York, New York

NYC / London quarantine punk scum. Read their full story in the description for 'The Pox', as the 400 characters allotted here just ain't enuff.

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